Rest: Do Not Fear the Darkness — You Are Not Alone

My youngest daughter is afraid of the dark. Honestly, I get it. As irrational as it is, I am also still a little afraid of the dark. At nearly 37 years old, I confess that I’m on edge when my visual senses are rendered useless. Suddenly it seems like anything is possible — all manner of nightmares. Even benign things, like someone knocking on the door or the hoot of an owl, present with a layer of uncertainty. When the landscape is illuminated in front of us, we know what we see and we are comfortable in what we know. Once the sun sets, to not be consumed by fear and uncertainty, I find myself forced to turn inward to find comfort and truth.

Winter, a time of increased darkness, offers an opportunity to do exactly that: to turn inward. You can’t hide from yourself during Winter. When the sun is out in Summer, we are busy in the garden, cooking up BBQs, traveling, making plans with friends. It’s all a fun distraction from ourselves, our anxieties, our truths and the work that we have to do on our hearts. It’s a necessary distraction — we can’t be so serious all the time. But we tend to fixate on these beautiful distractions, as we avoid embracing the darkness and the self-confrontation that Winter presents. 

Why are we so afraid to turn inward? Why do we numb our own inner darkness with social media, substances, and delusional behavior? Why is it so scary to tell ourselves the truth about our dreams, our flaws, our interests, our mistakes? I think it’s because at the core of all of it, human beings are afraid to be alone. And in the darkness — physical or emotional, it feels that we are truly alone. In the Winter, social life slows down and the distractions are fewer. When you have to look into your soul and question or admit your own darkness, we wonder if it will cause people to stop loving us.

Sweet soul, we are never alone.

The deeper we dive into our own selves, the more clear that becomes. The darkness, the flaws, the fears — they exist in all of us. We connect to one another through the grace and goodness of our creator. What is a part of you is a part of me is a part of God. We are never alone. And if you never let yourself risk feeling alone, you’ll never know that truth. 

The darkness allows the light to shine. Winter is a beautiful period of rest that provides contrast for the Spring blossoms. The nighttime gives way to the most glorious sunrise. Grief stretches our emotional capacity so that we can experience that much more love. Even in the most horrific of circumstances, as we’re watching unfold across the world, we see human beings turn to their profound faith, from which they find unimaginable strength. No mere mortal could face such horror so courageously without the support of the Almighty. Observers and supporters across the world have watched this, jaws dropped, and have themselves sought that very source of strength. Out of darkness must come light. That’s the way the world works.

Don’t be afraid to let yourself embrace the darkness. It feels scary, I know it. When the distractions are removed, new senses are awakened. New understandings can bubble up to the surface. Embrace the slowness of Winter. Stop the hamster wheel of distractions. Sit with who you are in this unique time. Face your deepest fears. Feel the difficult feelings. Hold your darkness. Admit and understand your flaws.

And then pay attention to the Light that shines through all of that.

We are never alone.